Review: "Saltburn" is a "Mr. Ripley" rehash without the charm

 I found an article whinging that "sexual antics" had no place in family entertainment and the movie Saltburn was mentioned specifically. Ooooo, depravity. Any article having a small hissy about depravity in film and preaching against such things certainly piques my interest. I said to myself, "Self," I says, "I simply must."

I really should have saved myself the time. 

Saltburn is certainly no holds barred in the story telling, I'll say that much for it. But it's such a tired cliche, it's not even worth the time it takes to watch it, And if there's a familiarity to the plot, it's not your imagination. You have seen this before. In fact, Matt Damon did it better in The Talented Mr. Ripley. I wasn't overly impressed with the plot then, either. 

Barry Keoghan plays the down-on-his-luck, scholarship student Oliver Quick, a socially inept young man who is only in Oxford by the grace of someone's largess. Ollie is looked down on by the wealthy elite of Oxford until the day he does a solid for the fantastically handsome, favored son Felix Catton, played by the gorgeous Jacob Elardi, and a friendship begins. Felix invites Oliver to his home at Saltburn, to relieve his boredom and things begin to fall apart so easily. The puppet master pulling the strings and watching the wealthy tapestry begin to unravel.

Gods, I wish I could say that the machinations were worth the watch, but they weren't. The sexual antics was about as titillating as a PG film. I've seen more racy Disney films than this. The plot was plodding, taking forever to develop and play out, and by the time the events did play out, I had stopped caring way earlier. The final scene of a naked Oliver dancing his way through the family mansion seemed so gratuitous that I was more bored than intrigued or aroused. 

Elardi's performance was fairly stereotypical as the rich, favored prince. Jude Law was, at least, real in his acting in "Ripley". The normally brilliant Richard Grant and Rosamund Pike did their best to inject life into their scenes but by then, it was too little and too late for me.

And that's usually the problem with British films for me. They're either amazingly filled with action and life or they're so supremely boring that I'm falling asleep. Saltburn falls in the latter category, I fear.

If you've got Amazon Prime, you'll find Saltburn included for your viewing (cough) pleasure. But truthfully, watch The Talented Mr. Ripley instead. Far superior since that movie did it first and did it better. 

One star out of 5. And that's a gift.

 

Review: "Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny"

 I'm not sure who decided this movie sucked but I finally got a chance to see Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. And it most definitely does not suck. 

We pick up with a very young Indiana, played by the iconic Harrison Ford, on an adventure with partner Basil, played by actor Tobey Jones, stuck with Nazis as the villains, once again stealing treasure...and a notorious artifact. The Antikythera device. A time traveling device created by Archimedes. An adventure to keep it out of the wrong hands. Indeed. Right up your alley, Indy.

But the day is not saved for long when in present day, two milestones arrive. Indy is retiring as a professor, now old and worn down by time and his previous adventures. And his goddaughter Helena, played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who turns out to be a bit of a blatant thief. Beloq in a skirt. The other half of the Antikythera device is being hunted by a Nazi passing as the savior of NASA, played by Mads Mikkelson. The world needs Indiana Jones to save us once again. 

Indy has slowed down. Physically, not up for the job. Welcome to a touch of reality, which is probably why the reviews were mixed. We want our heroes young and virile, able to do anything. The idea of an aged hero just doesn't sit well. Which is too bad because heroes come at any age, shape, weight, and form. Harrison Ford once again delivers a brilliant performance. Indiana may have lost the sparkle and dazzle, but he hasn't lost his wit and sarcastic nature. Even in the face of personal tragedy.

It was great to see old favorites from the first movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark. John Rhys-Davies. Karen Allen. Every one of them has aged like fine wine and while not as physically active as before, they still retained their spirit. So, yeah, the action sequences aren't as full of ass kicking as they would have been once upon a time, but they were pretty damn good and held my attention. Kept my heart racing and my blood pumping. I held my breath and prayed Indy would get out of this one, only to watch it get even more impossible to survive. And yet he would. One more puzzle after another and he would solve it. 

A fitting farewell to a beloved character as he marches into a new chapter of his story. A wonderful good by to a man that many of us grew up with. And still love. A movie worth of the Indiana Jones name and series. 

Another 5 out of five stars. And here's to Indiana; may he live forever and may his adventures be many. Goodbye to a series that has kept us all on the edges of our seats, entranced with archaeology and adventures. Thank the Gods for DVD and streaming services that the stories and movies still live with us.